You may have received/ are receiving love without realising it because love may come in forms that you don't recognise:
Tough Love
Some people may seem to be especially harsh on you (to the point they seem to be picking on you); have high expectations of you; and/or leave you to fight for yourself.
What you don't know is, they may have did it with the most loving of hearts...
They may be harsh on you because they can't bear to see you let yourself down.
They may have high expectations of you because they know you deserve better and they want the best for you.
They may leave you to fight for yourself because they want you to build up your inner resources. The wise knows the best gift you can give anyone is self-reliance for it will benefit them for life.
Playing nice is not the same as being kind.
That which is not your language of love
According to Gary Chapman, there are five languages of love:
- Words of Affirmation eg. saying "I love you"; "You are beautiful" and "Well done!".
- Acts of Service eg. helping to bring out the trash; cooking for you and just anything that will help make your life easier and/or better.
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time eg. listening to you; doing things together
- Physical Touch (a rub; massage; kiss; hug; sex)
Everyone has their unique set of love languages. Unless the love that is shown to you is your love language, you may not recognise it. For example:
If your partner's love languages are 1 & 2, he/she may shower you with praises and loving words and help you with running some errands but if your love languages are 3 & 4, you may still feel unloved if he/she rarely buys you gifts and spends quality time with you.
But love is love. Just because it is not offered in the form you'd expect doesn't make it non-love.
Don't ridicule it. Don't belittle it. Don't deny it.
Be grateful for it, appreciate it and give thanks for it.
And if you still don't feel loved, initiate love --- be a giver of love, the one to say "I love you" first.
